


Stories from Tumblr

by Rozilla



Category: Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fruit, M/M, Mjolnir - Freeform, Originally Posted on Tumblr
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 14:33:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7805569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rozilla/pseuds/Rozilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since I'm deleting one of my tumblr blogs, I'm saving all my fics here instead! Mostly Fosterson, but some others to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fosterson - Cat

**Author's Note:**

> Me? Bitter about Jane Foster being left out of Phase 3? NAAAAH.

It’s funny where your mind wanders when you’re calibrating new software, and Jane’s drifts to watching Thor slumped on a giant sofa, apparently asleep. She’s sitting with his head in her lap and one of his arms curled around a calf, completely still. She could move, but very slowly, and not without a lot of heavy lifting.

Tony keeps calling Thor a ‘Giant Viking Labrador’, which, as far as Jane’s concerned, is not entirely applicable. Sure, when he’s around his comrades, even around Darcy and Erik, he’s bounding with energy and light and effortless ease, but around her… She is reminded of that Viral video that Darcy showed her- of a dude sharing close living space with an apparently tame tiger (Darcy must’ve made the connection to). Thor is far more like a lion or some other big cat than a dog.

He moves around her living quarters with slinking ease, comfortable in his own skin and can sprawl like nobody’s business. He lies back with his mane (and it is a mane) all spread out on a pillow, arms and legs taking up as much room as is possible, which given just how huge he is, is not difficult. He also purrs and growls in a warm, hungry way around her which she definitely does not object to, especially when she strokes or brushes his hair or curls up on his huge expanse of chest, one giant arm draped over the small of her back.

He tends to disappear for weeks or months at a time to, coming back all smiles and snuggles as if he’d never left.

Then there’s the presents he brings back- not dead half-digested things to be fair, but often the remnants of tech or artifacts that he sneaks away from Stark before he has a chance to tinker too much.

And then there’s his tongue-

She suddenly shakes her head to dislodge that train of thought before it veers off somewhere unwarranted. Perhaps comparing people to animals too closely was not healthy.

She nearly jumps when Thor hums low in his throat and turns, accidentally on purpose, to lie face first between her thighs.

‘Meerrruuup,’ he mumbles, then carries on sleeping. She will not be able to move now.

Cats are assholes, she thinks.


	2. Fosterson and Baby Ray Bill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was prompted by Skuttlebutts to write about deaged Beta Ray Bill.

Jane buckled under Bill’s weight- even as an infant he seemed to weigh a ton.

‘How did this even happen?’ She tried to balance him on a hip, but gave up and handed him to Thor, who held him lengthwise on one forearm. Bill’s now chubby arms and legs dangled off Thor’s enormous arm as he wriggled and fussed.

‘I have my suspicions,’ Thor glowered ‘hopefully it shall wear off in time, but for now…we shall have to take care of him.’

Bill now looked like a jaundiced half-horse cherub, but a surprisingly endearing one.

‘Any ideas?’ Jane asked.

‘None,’ Thor tried swaying Bill gently, but that just seemed to make things worse. The crying was a strangely pitched high wailing- somewhere between a siren and a kitten. Jane winced and then groaned as the cry suddenly made her chest ache. This was not helping her hormones one bit.

‘Maybe we should feed him?’ Thor suggested.

Jane glared daggers at him.

‘I meant with- not you- I mean…’ he sighed.

‘Did Bill ever talk about how babies were nursed on his planet?’ Jane looked around for a toy or something shiny to distract him.

‘Not to my recollection,’ Thor raised his voice above the noise.

Jane had to sit down, her own child now turning somersaults inside her at the sound of Bill’s cries.

‘Do they even drink milk?’ She yelled.

‘I should think so!’

‘We need to be sure or we could make him sick! Or worse!’

Thor placed the baby on the bed next to Jane where he lay wailing fit to burst.

‘I shall enquire at the stables! Perhaps one of the mares is with foal!’

‘Seriously?!’ Jane shouted ‘That’s the best you can come up with? He’s not a horse! He just kinda looks like one!’

‘If you have other suggestions my love then I’m all ears!’

Jane gave up ‘Fine! But hurry back!’

He left quickly, leaving Jane alone with baby Bill, who kicked and rolled over onto his stomach, still crying. She tried tickling him and blowing raspberries on his back, which calmed him a little, but he still looked distressed and, as far as she could tell, hungry. He now had huge white eyes and, since he no longer had teeth, his muzzle now more resembled an ant-eater than a horse. They’d wrapped a thick rag around his middle as a makeshift diaper and just hoped that whatever he, ahem, produced, could be contained.

‘We’re sorry Bill,’ she sighed ‘I have no idea what do.’

He whimpered and wriggled towards her hand, leaning up on his forearms and reaching for her fingers. At a loss, Jane gave him her forefinger, which he grabbed in one chubby fist, then promptly stuffed into his mouth.

‘Oh okay…’ Jane mumbled, trying not to focus on how weird this was ‘when you get back to normal, we shall never speak of this.’

He suckled for a while and Jane gave up, at least he seemed entertained momentarily.

He was figuring out that he was not getting any milk and about to explode into another fit of crying when Thor returned with an elongated bottle that Jane had seen used to feed foals and baby goats.

‘Pass him over,’ Thor said ‘I suppose I shall need to get some practice?’

Jane raised an eyebrow ‘I’ll be the one feeding our kid, unless you can suddenly lactate?’

‘Not as well as you, clearly.’

Jane glanced down at her gown and groaned ‘Well that explained why he went for me.’

Thor took Bill over to a chair and sat to feed him, positioning him back over one forearm and let him lean up to take a bottle, which he suckled in relief.

‘I’ll go change,’ Jane walked over, relieved to see Bill contented and feeding happily.

‘When Bill gets back to normal, he owes us babysitting.’

‘I’ll tell him that,’ Thor grinned as he gently lifted away the bottle to burp him. He rubbed Bill’s back and Jane managed to get out of the way before she was hit with a jet of yellowish bile.

‘Oh god,’ she muttered ‘if I didn’t love Bill so much I’d use this as blackmail material.’


	3. If She Be Worthy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: Imagine Thor teaching Jane how to use Mjolnir after finding out she's worthy.

‘How do you even fight with this thing?’ Jane asked, testing it’s weight ‘It’s kinda…’

‘Clumsy?’ Thor smiled ‘At first, but once you get used to it, to what it can do, it’s a formidable weapon.’

‘Not that you’re biased.’

‘Not at all,’ Thor chuckled and gestured for her to give him her hands, the ones that grasped Mjolnir like a blacksmith’s hammer because it was still pretty heavy, despite how apparently worthy she was. He placed his over her’s, getting behind her to show her how she could move it, moving her hands closer together.

‘So I swing it like a golf club?’

‘To start with,’ Thor moved her hands and moved Mjolnir in turn, making the hammer thrum patiently.

‘It’s heavy,’ Jane said ‘I guess that’s because I’m human?’

‘Indeed, magic-’

‘-some kind of mental or emotional bond with the artifical intelligence in the hammer-’

‘-is still required, which most humans do not appear to posess.’

‘Huh,’ she peered at the markings on the head ‘how come the handle’s so short? Aren’t most Warhammers equiped with a longer… shaft?’

She was glad Darcy wasn’t here for once- the innuendo would not help matters.

‘Ha… that’s a tale,’ Thor looked a little abashed ‘during the forging of Mjolnir, the dwarves broke the handle- given the difficult process of Stella Forges that was not surprising, but not wishing to evoke my father’s anger, they simply presented it to me and told me the handle was short because I would grow to be so formidable as a fighter I would only need one hand to fight with it.’

‘So… they told you it was a design feature?’

‘Yes.’

‘Well, it’s nice to know engineers throughout the universe still pull the same cons to avoid getting into trouble.’


	4. Freebird - Fruit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from tumblr - Freebird and Fruit.

Taking Steve to a Farmer’s Market was always going to be a good idea. Sam was only a little shocked to learn that, prior to him being unfrozen, Steve had never had any fresh fruit before.

‘You’re serious?’ Sam raised an eyebrow. He couldn’t always tell when Steve was trolling him about his childhood.

‘Yup,’ Steve shrugged ‘we had tins mostly and the milk… ugh, it was mostly padded with stuff from the brewery.’

‘Christ,’ Sam shook his head ‘how did anyone make it out of the 30s alive?’

‘Moxy, mostly,’ Steve said, deadpan, which earned him a ding around the ear.

‘Watch your language,’ Sam warned.

‘God, Stark’s got you doing it to?’

‘Damned straight,’ Sam looked around to check for any onlookers, then leaned in to kiss him right on the lips ‘not sorry.’

‘Course not,’ Steve returned the kiss, curious stares be damned- although they were far more worried about getting recognised. When they seperated, Sam took him over to a store laidened with apples, pears, grapes, peaches, raspberries and strawberries.

‘All organic!’ The sales lady told them, grinning with pride.

‘See, I’ll bet they weren’t organic in your day,’ Sam snarked, buying enough fruit to feed a family of ten.

‘Oh they were organic, they didn’t start using pesticides till the fifties,’ Steve explained ‘but didn’t make any difference to me or anyone else in my neighbourhood since we were too poor regardless.’

‘Gosh,’ the lady stared at him ‘how’d ya get so big?’

‘Moxy, mostly,’ Sam winked at him.

Steve just smiled back.


	5. ScarletVision - Computer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another prompt - Scarlet Vision, computer.

‘The Baron told me that a brain is a very complex organic computer,’ Wanda said, distantly dangling her legs over the edge of the Base roof ‘that mine always had the potential to do these amazing things if only people had the right tools or knowledge… the stone simply unlocked what was already there.’

‘He was right in that regard,’ The Vision hovered, cross legged in front of her, suspended above the air, his cape fluttering only a little in the night’s breeze ‘but it is also more complicated than that. Computers are inanimate, humans are not.’

‘You’re not inanimate,’ Wanda pointed out ‘and is your brain not an organic computer? Literally?’

‘I’m glad you think so,’ The Vision said, thoughtfully ‘and you are right, but I think I am an exception in some regards.’

‘Výnimka potvrdzuje pravidlo,’ Wanda said ‘the exception confirms the rule.’

‘I suppose I am,’ he pondered, making them both fall into a thoughtful silence.

‘So there… are others like us- like me?’ She asked, eventually.

‘Yes, many I expect,’ Vision noted how she hesitated when she remembered too late that her brother was dead. It was too be expected in humans affected by grief, but he was beginning to notice her own, individual version.

‘Since the stone is now part of you,’ she looked to him, her voice strained ‘could you… do that? Unlock powers inside of others?’

‘No,’ The Vision shook his head ‘that was part of the staff’s design, not the stone itself…. but I am certain that there must be other ways.’

‘Really?’

‘Indeed, since there are other powered humans like you who did not get touched by the stone.’

She smiled to herself and nodded ‘That is good to hear.’

‘Why do you ask Wanda?’ He unfolded his legs and floated to be by her side. She just shrugged ‘I feel… alone, stranded… like… I know I have this gift and it can help others, but… it would be good to know I have… something like a family out there.’

‘In the meantime,’ The Vision took her hand ‘perhaps I can be of assistance?’

‘Yes,’ she rubbed her thumb against his strange skin, how strangely soft it was ‘you can. You know what it’s like to have a strange kind of brain.’

‘That is very true,’ he found that making his voice soft was comforting, which made a lot of logical sense and worked in practice.

‘I’m getting a lot of right answers,’ she remarked, leaning her head against his arm ‘are you agreeing with me for fun or just because I am actually right?’

‘You are right, Wanda, but it is also… pleasing to say so. To make you feel better.’

‘That makes sense,’ she sighed ‘and thank you. If you are a computer, then you are one whose company I prefer.’

‘Likewise,’ he answered, lifting his cape around her and allowed himself to enjoy her company.


	6. Jane and Darcy see that Rocket Test by NASA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I did a couple of these flash fics, they're fun and I like to try and be a budding comedy writer!

Jane: OMG! DARCY DID YOU SEE?! THAT MUST'VE BEEN ALIENS RIGHT?!

Darcy: *sigh* There's an alien sitting in our living room. He's watching Call The Midwife and crying.

Jane: You're no fun.


	7. Jane has a realisation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane comes to realise something about that day in the resturant with Richard and Darcy gets annoyed at her friend's lack of social awareness.

Jane: Wooaaahh

Darcy: What?

Jane: I just realised something!

Darcy: Really?

Jane: Yeah... remember when you barged into my date with Richard?

Darcy: Yup.

Jane: And made things even more unbearably awkward by bringing up personal and painful episodes of misery in front of a relative stranger?

Darcy: Yup.

Jane: Which made me look like a pathetic love sick mess?

Darcy: "look like"

Jane: Which I have kinda resented you for ever since?

Darcy: .... Did not know that but continue.

Jane: Well, I realised the only reason you did it was because, a, to get me out of said unbearably awkward date.

Darcy: ....

Jane: And, b, so I could go chasing portals because you knew I was too cowardly and socially inept to just get up and leave! You didn't INTEND to sabotage my date for laughs, just get me back to my true pursuit in life!

Darcy: ... You literally just figured that out?

Jane: Umm... yeah.

Darcy: And you've been stewing about it ALL this time?

Jane: Well... OW OW OW!

Darcy: You are the officially the stupidest genius ever and I hope Thor sneezes the next time he goes down on you.


	8. They Found Water On Mars - Jane and Darcy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane freaks out about water on Mars. Darcy doesn't care, for obvious reasons.

Jane: OMG DARCY!

Darcy: What?

Jane: They found water on MARS!

Darcy: ... so?

Jane: You know what that means?!

Darcy: ...

Jane: There might be microscopic life on Mars!

Darcy: You've been to an alien civilisation and you're currently banging an alien-

Jane: WATER ON MARS DARCY.


	9. Jane and Darcy - Jewish headcanons

Darcy: So, let me get this straight... we worked alongside each other, lived together and I have pretty much kept you fed and watered for like a year... and you never noticed we were both Jewish?

Jane: Seems so.

Darcy: Wow. How are you able to tell me the brightness of a binary star cluster, but didn't notice we share a culture?

Jane: Sorry, wasn't paying attention.

Darcy: *slow clap*


	10. Loud Thundersex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy makes a threat about Jane's loud bedroom noises.

Darcy: I swear to God Jane, if I have to listen to you and Thor having loud thunder-sex one more time, I'll record the sound of you orgasming AND MAKE IT YOUR RINGTONE.

Jane: You. Wouldn't.

Darcy: Don't test me Foster!


	11. Darcy intervenes on Jane's fashion choices

Darcy sits Jane down and has a talk with about how she and Thor are spending WAY too much time together. Jane gets indignant and says ‘No we’re not! What makes you say that?’

Darcy says 'You’re wearing matching plaid.’

'Seriously?’

Darcy points to Thor and then to Jane and she realises that they are both wearing a green and blue plaid shirt, black boots and jeans.

'See?’ Says Darcy.

Jane just shrugs 'Meh. We both look hot.’


	12. Fosterson - The Orrery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was prompted to write this after seeing a gorgeous orrery.

Jane watched it whir, spin and dance in a ethereal display, her eyes trying to follow each of the Realms in turn. They spun in a slow waltz, showing the path towards the Convergence and away again- she had been watch it for over an hour. She was calculating the movements of each component when a warm, loving hands encircled her waist from behind and a kiss landed on the shell of her ear.

‘I was wondering where you were.’

She reluctantly turned away, but was more than happy to see who was attempting to distract her. Thor was smiling down at her, then back at the device.

'Fascinating is it not?’

'It’s beautiful… I mean - I made an orrery when I was a kid,’ Jane sighed, 'out of glue, silly straws, cardboard and a LOT of paper-mache. It worked to, and my Dad helped me put in a motor to make it move… I tweaked it and tinkered for hours so that it would move accurately. I won the science fair for like… the fifth time in a row.’

She reached out to a glimmering red globe representing Muspelheim and hesitated.

'Can I?’

'Of course,’ Thor chuckled.

She pressed a finger as gently as she could to he surface of the red glass and pulled it away quickly 'Was that-’

'Now, try placing your hand on Jotunheim.’

She did and almost giggled with delight 'Cold… makes sense… they all like that?’

'Oh yes,’ Thor couldn’t resist taking her hand and rubbing a pattern on her knuckles 'it’s fine craftsmanship, the dwarves spent many decades building it and perfecting it’s movements. It was… originally meant to be a coronation gift.’

Jane looked at him quizzically 'Who’s?’

'Mine.’

She bit her lip and nodded 'I see.’

Thor kissed her fingers 'Now, I know someone far worthier of it’s beauty.’

'Really? Who-’

She stopped and was about to protest when Thor stepped back and gestured 'I cannot think of one more deserving Jane.’

'But-’

'My love.’

She gave up. Sometimes modesty and pride were all very well, but not when you were about to turn down something like this. Besides, she would never really turn it down, Thor knew that. She just took his hands again and looked up at him 'Thank you. I… just… cannot thank you enough.’

'I can think of a few ways-’

She rolled her eyes, but laughed and hugged him close 'Trust me. You’ll be walking sideways after I’ve finished with you.’


End file.
